Last week, at foster parent training, I went to sit with friends I had only seen across the room on the first night of class. As my friend hugged me she said, “I told him, ‘I’m so excited, it’s like Leanne and I are expecting together!’” What a cool thing to say! I’ve thought about it ever since.
Since I wrote the post about Being Marilla, I’ve mostly filled out paperwork, waited, worked on my house and yard, gone to classes, and waited some more. I’ve wondered if I really have what it takes to be a mom to children who have been wounded or rejected or abandoned by their parents. So, I’ve prepared, waited, gone to classes, and been a combination of excited and nervous, and at the end of all of this, a child will come live in my house. Wow, I really am expecting!
Thinking about it also reminded me of finding Psalm 5:3: “In the morning, O LORD, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait in expectation.” Almost every time I read that verse my next thought is, “Do I really do that?” More often I lay my requests before Him and then rush off into the day as though I have to answer my own prayer. There’s not much expecting in that, and there’s certainly no waiting!
Sara Groves recently contrasted the frenetic work human beings do in their own strength with the work of God in their lives:
“The things that have been substantial in my marriage, in my work, in my parenting, in my friendships, those things have come about like a pregnancy. I’ve had a sense of God working in my life, doing something bigger than myself, and it’s going to be born if I like it or not – this thing is coming.”
She in turn was commenting on Eugene Peterson’s paraphrase of Psalm 127:1-3.
“If God doesn’t build the house, the builders only build shacks.
If God doesn’t guard the city,
the night watchman might as well nap.
It’s useless to rise early and go to bed late,
and work your worried fingers to the bone.
Don’t you know he enjoys
giving rest to those he loves?”
Ah, yes, rest and waiting. Both are symptoms of a heart counting on God to come through, on His work on behalf of His child. He hears my requests. He is building my house – He already knows the name of the child who will live here soon, and He is preparing my heart and mind. Yes, Lord, I wait in expectation. Amen.